When I imagined my maternity leave I thought about sweet cuddles with my newborn, visiting with family, and settling into our new home. And while all of that has happened, I also found I have improved key skills that I am excited to utilize at work! They say that parenthood is a full time job, and now really understand what they mean.
Prioritization
I reflected on my changing views on time in this post and the main takeaway is that it is an even more valuable resource than I ever appreciated. There’s the philosophical angle that we’re all getting older and have to be present for each moment we have. And while that is powerful, my experience as a new mother has given me a practical view on time as well.
The skill in motherhood
When my baby was first born it felt like I was holding him every waking moment. He was either sleeping in my arms or I was carrying him around to keep him calm. As we started implementing sleep habits (see more about that here) I found myself with time available while he was sleeping in his crib…but I never knew how long I would have until he woke up!
Cue me getting everything done in half the time I would normally take to do it. If I needed to clean for example I would jump straight into the task rather than gathering all of my supplies, searching for the perfect podcast, tidying up in a roundabout way, and getting distracted as I went. This makes it sound like I normally was not efficient, but that’s not the case. I was efficient, but I had more time to use up. Waiting for a sleeping baby to wake up institutes the kind of “hard stop” that I never truly had before.
The skill at work
When I consider how I am going to change my work style based on this new lesson, I am going to prioritize to a whole new level. Instead of doing everything and making more and more time, I’m instead going to be able to assess what is actually the most important for me to work on and dedicate more time to top priorities. I anticipate that this will allow me to go deeper into what actually matters and simplify what I commit to.
Before maternity leave I would always think about what moves the needle (or in my words “what’s the pathway to results”) and I did a good job of identifying what I should work on. Looking back with my newfound perspective, I can see that there is room for improvement beyond being good and I have developed prioritization skills that can make my work great. This relates closely to my recent post about Marcus Aurelius and asking yourself what is truly necessary that you can check out here.
Decision Making with Imperfect Information & Slowing Down
While the time piece has been front and center in my mind, I recently realized that my decision making skills have also improved. Let me share a story.
My baby is on an eating and nap schedule, with each activity occurring usually within 15 minutes of the scheduled time. We wake up at the exact same time each day and have naps and feedings planned out so that we can get to bed at the exact same time when the baby is optimally tired and full.
I decided to take a walk because the weather was beautiful and what should happen but the baby started to fall asleep, and not at his scheduled nap time! This has the potential to throw off the schedule for the rest of the day and cause us to miss bedtime, which in turn can mess up our next morning, which can then mess up the next nap, and so on.
The skill in motherhood
I had a decision to make – should I try to wake him up and then have him take a nap at his usual time? Should I let him sleep and keep walking to make the nap longer? If he didn’t sleep for longer, could I potentially put him down for a cat nap a bit later to make up for the lost time?
I have become adept at running through all of my options and the potential repercussions of those options quickly and making a command decision. In the beginning it was not like this. I would end each day feeling so fatigued and worn out because of all of the micro-decisions I was faced with. Now, I have the experience to understand the impact of my decisions and even though I don’t have perfect information about what will occur, I can make a call and feel confident in adjusting as I go.
I’ve also found that I can relieve pressure on my decisions by slowing down. While I can run through options quickly and come to a decision without belaboring it, I have also learned the power of taking a breath before rushing to make a call.
The skill at work
I am bringing a newfound confidence in my decision making skills to work. After daily experience in making decisions and adapting as needed, I’ve seen the value in striking a balance between gathering information and just getting started.
My focus is going to be on getting enough details to make an informed decision instead of looking for perfect information. Having the self assurance to know that I and my team can always adjust or pivot will empower me to make decisions that will give us momentum and not fear the outcome each step of the way.
Taking a beat and realizing that not every decision is needed instantaneously will also help me to stay calm throughout the day and set me up to make a series of decisions without getting fatigued.
If you’ve gone on parental leave how did you find your skills changed?
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