When I was pregnant, I mostly focused on figuring out what I needed to do during my pregnancy and the items I would need for a baby. I didn’t spend much time learning about how to actually care for that baby or, most importantly, how to set my expectations around sleep.
Today I want to share my experience those first few weeks with a newborn and what resources ultimately helped me take control of my days (as much as you can with a baby…).
The First Four Weeks
We brought the baby home, unpacked our minimalist hospital bag (see this post!), and were like “now what?”. In the hospital we got tutorials on how to feed the baby and change him, but when it came to sleep we were unprepared.
For those first four weeks we just let the baby lead. If he seemed hungry, we fed him. If he fell asleep, we let him sleep. We didn’t proactively offer naps, nor did we even understand how much sleep newborns need. We also didn’t “play” with the baby beyond talking to him and taking him on tours of the house and us doing chores.
A few of my friends recommended I check out Taking Cara Babies – a website with an amazing blog and courses. I was completely influenced by a Black Friday sale to purchase a bundle that is designed for the first five months of a baby’s life and I eagerly devoured the course.
We also discovered the toy company Lovevery which has helped us be intentional in the ways we play with our baby. I’m going to share more about both below!
The Taking Cara Babies Course
It is not an exaggeration to say that I fell in love with Cara. I wanted so badly to find information that would help me get our baby on a perfect, predictable schedule (in about two days and with no crying involved, naturally). Instead, I learned how newborn sleep actually works, what babies are developmentally ready for at each age, and got reassurance that with a few principles we could gently work towards consistent sleep.
While you can read the blog for free (and it includes guides for each month), watching videos where Cara explains her methods in detail makes a world of difference. Plus, there are exact steps she provides for helping your baby fall asleep and stay asleep that are only demonstrated in the course.
Our Days and Nights Now
We went from guessing to having a clear list of guidelines to follow around feedings, naps, and nighttime sleep that has made us feel so much more confident and has resulted in less frustration and confusion around sleep.
Right now I can only speak to months 0-2 completely because we are in the midst of implementing methods for months 3 and 4 to reduce night wakings. I can say that my life improved dramatically by knowing what I could do to support our baby’s sleep each day, help him get engaging and active time awake, and ensure that his days set his nights up for success.
The biggest change that I am grateful for is teaching him to put himself to sleep. I used to rock him and literally stand in the dark closet to help him fall asleep for every nap, but now that he is at an age where he is developmentally able I am able to lie him in his crib and he puts himself to sleep with little to no intervention each time. I feel like I got my sanity back and I am so grateful for the progress we’re making overnight too where he is only waking up one to two times a night.
What I appreciate the most about the course is that Cara explains that progress is not linear and that our goal right now is to practice skills with the baby. I am the type of person that needs a goal and the goal I would have given myself of “get him to sleep through the night every night and take naps on a perfect schedule” isn’t realistic or healthy. Having an alternative that is scientifically backed has made a world of difference for my mental health and my day to day experience.
Is this course for you?
I will say, it isn’t easy to follow all of the guidelines all of the time exactly as they are laid out. Luckily, Cara doesn’t ask you to and explains modifications you can make. Joe and I are very disciplined to begin with and it is important to us to establish good sleep practices early, so we’ve been able to follow the guidelines extremely closely. I believe that is a huge factor in the success we’ve seen so far.
If you’re looking to learn about the science behind your baby’s sleep, get actionable steps to structure your day, and want validation that you are doing a great job, this course is for you.
I recommend getting the course when your baby is still in those first four weeks. Those weeks are truly for bonding and getting to know each other, so you really won’t implement much of what the course contains during that time. If you want to get a preview of what is to come, you could also take the course before your baby is born, but you’ll likely need to do a refresher during those first four weeks.
Lovevery Toys
We included a play gym from Lovevery on our registry and I thought “perfect, as a minimalist I now have enough toys for my baby.” Oh, think again young Alyssa. I quickly realized that in order to fully engage our baby during his wake time and help support his development I’d need to do more than lie him on his back and have him look at a few black and white cards.
As a disclaimer, I still am of the mindset that you don’t need a bunch of fancy toys for your baby. They will likely be just as happy playing with an empty water bottle as they will with any toy you get them in the first few months. However, if you want to support their development and understand how their brains are forming each month, I have found Lovevery to be an awesome resource.
The Play Kits
You might recognize Lovevery by their play kits. These are kits that are delivered to your home every two months with a new set of developmentally appropriate toys, a guide for parents on what your baby is experiencing, and recommendations for how to interact best with your baby at the stage they are in.
We’ve found the toys to be extremely high quality and the guides are super helpful. We’ve noticed our baby engaging in certain activities and as we cross reference the guides we better understand why he is doing something and how we can support him.
I did not think that these kits would be as helpful as they are, but it saves so much time in doing research, picking out toys, and coming up with ways to play. I look forward to the boxes in part because I want something new to do with the baby! It can get tedious if you have the same routine day after day.
Having these kits has also helped to keep our toy collection minimal because we know that new toys are coming and we don’t need to buy random items as we think he needs them.
I truly believe that having these two resources will make a world of difference in your newborn experience (especially Taking Cara Babies – do not hesitate to make that investment!). Do you have any other recommendations?
Check out my other baby related posts!
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