Have you ever seen the Russell Crowe movie Master and Commander? If not, you should. It’s a really great film. The other day I was thinking about thinking (because that’s just the sort of thing I do…) and I realized that there’s not a lot of things we are in control of, but one area of our lives where we are the master and commander is our thoughts.
We all know that negative self talk is damaging, but oh so prevalent. It seems that not an hour can go by without us saying something mean and cruel to ourselves. “Your stomach isn’t flat enough” “You’re too short” “You don’t know how to have fun.” The negativity goes on and on and on. We are constantly telling ourselves that we are not enough and this just perpetuates the vicious cycle.
What if instead of giving credence to these damaging thoughts we changed the dialogue? Since we are the ones in charge, we can be the ones to redirect the course. As silly as it may sound, channeling our mind to a completely different topic (I like to start counting in French because that really does take up all of my concentration) can effectively lead us away from the idea that we are not good enough.
This is not something which comes easily, especially if you’ve been negative self talking for a substantial amount of time. As great as it would be to not only stop this negativity and replace it with positivity (and actually believe it), I understand that is not possible to achieve overnight. What we can do, however, is have the discipline to change our thoughts to something else entirely.
What I’ve taken to doing (aside from the French) is whenever I am about to compare myself to another woman I instead pay her a compliment in my mind. “Those are really nice colors on her backpack” “Her hair is wonderfully shiny” “Those shoes are quite cute.” Doing this has shown me that I can appreciate what someone else has without being jealous or using it as a way to knock myself down.
This positivity that I have been putting out has manifested itself in my life. Just the other day I was getting breakfast and a girl said to me “I love your lipstick color! It looks so great on you.” Yes, this is a small compliment and may not seem like such a big deal, but at that moment in time it was exactly what I needed. The more kindness we put out into the world, the more we get in return. This is exactly why we need to be good to ourselves. As we teach ourselves that kind thoughts are much more powerful and true than harsh ones, it will become easier and easier to turn to positivity.
How do you deal with negative thoughts?
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