For the past ten years, I’ve looked forward to writing this annual post of life lessons. Last year I wrote about striving to be calm and confident and how I had a note (on paper from my trip to Japan!) on my desk to remind me of that goal, especially throughout my work day. The most impactful lesson I’ve learned this past year is that when you make choices that align with your values, calm and confidence follow naturally.
I’m not saying that challenges magically disappear or that everything becomes perfect when you say “yes” to what you really want and “no” to what you don’t. But what I have experienced is that you become better equipped to handle challenges when you are already living in alignment with your values.
When I had my son, I became obsessed with time. What time was he napping and eating? How much was he sleeping? How much was I sleeping?
Then, my relationship with time shifted into scarcity mode. How much could I get done during nap time? When did I need to start work? When could I end? How much could I get done for work before and after my son was in bed?
I found my priorities changing from maximizing my productivity and career, to wanting to have unhurried time with my family. I was constantly reminding myself to be calm and confident because it felt like there were so many instances throughout the day where I had to make choices that put my old priorities at odds with my new ones. I hadn’t yet accepted that there would need to be changes and tradeoffs to live a life where I had that unhurried time.
It made me think of advice I received from the lawyer mother of one of my brother’s friends when I went and spent the day with her at her office when I was in middle school (even then, I was career focused 😂). She told me
“You can have it all, just not at once.”
In typical fashion for me, I assumed that that was true for average people. But I was exceptional! Of course for my whole life I would be able to pour myself into everything that mattered to me without any negative consequences or without quality suffering.
Flash forward to this year when I realized that I could rethink my priorities and what “success” meant to me. This led me to changing jobs (read more about how my sales career evolved here), completely revamping my quarterly planning process (this is what I was doing in 2024 and the weekly process I had in 2023, so an updated post is in order soon!), and becoming even more disciplined with where I spend my time (I may or may not be in the middle of a 75 day challenge that I’ll share more about soon…).
Now when I’m faced with a challenging moment, my priorities are not even a question. This leads to less deliberation and less anxiety, and I don’t have to remind myself to be calm and confident (too much) when I deal with it, I just am.
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