Mindset Shift To Increase Positivity

I just got together with Kajal this past week and we realized it had been months since we’d seen one another. We launched into our life updates. How’s your work/schooling? How’s your health? How’re your friends and family? There’s always a few areas that we’re working on or that we’re currently challenged by, and we share those with one another and ask for advice. These catch up conversations, in addition to texting and phone calls, happen with all of my friends and can be so helpful!

Click to read now or pin to save for later! This adjustment in how I interact with friends helped me to dramatically increase my positivity. Learn more here

However (you knew that was coming, didn’t you?), this also means I have to bring up the things that aren’t perfect in my life over and over again with each friend. And because my friends are wonderful, they’ll follow up and ask for updates and find out if there’s anything else I need to talk through…which leads to me having to relive it all again.

I wasn’t really aware of how this “reliving” was making me feel until I read this article from The Everygirl (I’m also pretty sure I read something similar on A Cup of Jo, but I can’t find the article now). The author describes how she used to vent her daily frustrations and thought that it was a great release, but realized that the rehashing of every day wasn’t really necessary and actually made her keep her negativity around for longer.

While I don’t vent about my day on a regular basis, I do find myself updating each friend and brining up negative emotions when I really don’t need to. What on the surface was my intention to keep everyone on the same page in actuality was me getting myself worked up again without even realizing it.

Now that I am aware of this, I’ve been much more intentional about how many people I talk to about issues on a regular basis, and when I am doing a longer catch up with a friend I focus more on the present and future.

Did you read my post about missing the past? This shift in what I talk about has been a great way to address those feelings. It’s a bit like that song “Turn it Off” from Book of Mormon where it talks about not feeling your feelings. I’m not suggesting that you ignore things that are bothering you, rather I’m saying that we should acknowledge and talk about it with a limited number of people, address it, and move forward with all future conversations. I’ve found that this is a great way to be positive and to get your friend’s perspective on what is really important – what’s happening in the future/what you’re working towards!

How do you decide what to talk about with friends? Would love to hear how you have positive conversations and keep your mindset on track.

-AJF

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