I was sitting on the couch next to my mother, working on my laptop and semi-watching The Bachelorette.
“Look, they’re having auditions in New York,” my mother said. I looked up to see that indeed they were holding auditions in the city the following week.
“I wonder how far that is from where I work,” I pondered aloud as I plugged the address into my phone. Hmm, not too far at all, I discovered. I had plans to meet up with my friend Austen (who is a totally awesome style blogger you should check out. She works at Nylon magazine, lives in the city, and is a complete babe who I’ve known since we were girls. You should also totally read the story of how we reconnected after years) in the city and I figured I might as well ask her if she wanted to go. It would be far more interesting than the usual dinner.
Luckily, she was game so we decided to meet there after work to check it out and see if we could start on our own journey for love.
At work I reapplied my lipstick before leaving, but didn’t think too much more about my appearance. When I arrived I found women with blowouts, full faces of makeup, cocktail dresses, and heels higher than I have ever even considered wearing. I joined the line around the block in front of ABC Studios and waited for Austen to arrive.
Some women were chatting, others were absorbed in their phones, while still others were reapplying their makeup. Despite this being auditions for both The Bachelor and The Bachelorette, the line was overwhelmingly female. I made small talk with the women around me about who we wished the next Bachelor would be (this was hard for me to answer since I don’t follow the show too closely), what sort of work we did, and what brought us to the audition. Most people said their “friend” told them they absolutely had to give it a try. For me, I figured it would be interesting and a different sort of activity for Austen and I, plus I’m single so why not?
Austen arrived and I was happy to see that she didn’t change from work. Granted, she works in fashion so she looked like the cool chick she is, while I was in my business clothes. Don’t get me wrong, I love the way I dress for work, it’s just that neither of us quite fit the norm.
We had fun catching up on line before we made it to the front doors. We were ushered into the café of ABC Studios and had to go through a metal detector before being directed to the written application.
If you thought your college applications were long, they have nothing on this! We were asked about our previous relationships, why we wanted to be on the show, our work, our family lives, our mental and physical health, before signing our lives away on the dotted line. Next, we were off to have our mug shots…oh I mean head shots…taken. Then it was time for more waiting before we got our big moment to let our personalities shine in front of the cameras (the security guards told us to just be our selves. I have a feeling they tell everyone that despite them saying that was special advice for us).
And now, please enjoy a video shot by Austen of me auditioning. Note how I am attempting to be charming, and charismatic, and engaging, and lovely, and darling, and appealing. Believe it or not, that’s a rather tall order after a full day of work and standing in line for an hour and a half (not to mention the rigorous test that was the written application).
Another important note is that I was the ONLY person there who wore eyeglasses. I put that on the application and said it during my interview to let them know that diversity is important. If I don’t get cast I will probably sue them. If you know any attorneys looking for some pro bono work, let me know.
Austen and I are still waiting to hear back. Our theory is that our acceptance letters got lost in the mail. This also happened to my letter from Hogwarts. I seem to have the worst luck.
Would you ever audition for The Bachelor? Have you done it, or someone you know?
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